It's Time To Log Off

The era of social media has peaked, right?

Jan 24, 2025

I think we can all agree that social media has peaked. Even the names of their companies have changed to represent this shift. In this burgeoning post-social-media era, what will we do instead?

I have some ideas.

What Happened?

In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past few months, the mask has really come off in regards to the intentions of social media companies.

black iphone 4 on black textile — Photo by Ochir-Erdene Oyunmedeg on Unsplash

Twitter was bought by the dude whose name I had muted on Twitter since 2010. Now it’s X and I left that platform immediately. I still try to mute him everywhere, to varying degrees of success.

Facebook is removing fact checking and getting cozy with the new administration. I think it’s hilarious that they are called Meta now, after spending $46 Billion dollars on a failed augmented reality project that I’ve never heard of anyone using. I think they got stuck trying to design legs or something.

TikTok was fake banned for like 24 hours and then name-dropped the current administration in their efforts to get back running. It all feels like a publicity stunt to me.

By the way, in an effort to get out of the metaverse, I’m on Bluesky. Join me! It feels like old times over there.

How It Used To Be

I don’t want to wax poetic about the bygone days of the young internet, but things really used to be different out here. This is my experience with the evolution of being online and I think it leads us towards how it all could be today.

First, there was AOL Instant Messenger. After school, I would log on to the shared family computer and message with my junior high friends. We had little profiles and screen names and that was about it. My most awkward social years could unfold behind the safety of a screen. When I was done, I would log off so my brothers could use the computer.

This led to Myspace, an extension of this real social network. I started learning HTML to customize my profile and we had friends, a two-way connection, online, with real people from school. It was still rooted in reality.

As shown in this very real screenshot, the internet also had **websites** we’d visit, not just the same four websites.

Then came Facebook. To get an account, I had to be referred by someone in my high school. This extended the social network much wider than before.

I think this is the first misstep of the internet. We are only really wired to maintain about 150 social connections but now there is social pressure to have thousands of friends and likes on your posts. It’s unhealthy.

We should eventually grow beyond some friendships. We shouldn’t have to know the political opinions of the person who sat behind us in freshman biology. I don’t want to be tempted into an essential oil pyramid scheme by the person who got into a fist fight in the cafeteria our junior year. Enough!

Facebook also began eating the internet. What used to be small business websites became Facebook pages. I have to log in to know the hours of a local restaurant? How does that help drive business for them?

And then Facebook bought Instagram.

a picture of some yarn and a pair of scissors — *Photo by Benyamin Bohlouli on Unsplash*

On Instagram, for the first time, our friends become followers. Thus was born the cult of the influencer, a status above and beyond our shared reality. People have millions of followers and somehow make a living sharing photos and videos of them… doing stuff? Being pretty. Shilling supplements. Pumping crypto scams. It could be anything. It’s a brave new world.

I say these influencer folks are beyond our shared reality because when you see behind the scenes of the making of that ✨almighty content✨ in real life, it’s downright awkward. Always remember that. Please, cringe with me.

The myopic view of our phone screens makes it all look so shiny and composed.
The full picture is hilarious though. I try to always remember the full picture.

Social media oozes with a warped peer pressure for us to be more composed, more handsome, more extreme, skinnier, manlier, all for clicks and likes and follows.

The algorithms are tuned for engagement, and it turns out RAGE is very engaging. At times, the online world has usurped physical reality and russian trolls baited people into protesting and counter-protesting in Texas. This is why we have the phrase Instagram vs. Reality. We know this it isn’t reality. And yet we choose to live here.

Most importantly, research shows this hurts us all, making us feel more isolated and lonely.

Finally came Tiktok. I’ll be honest, this is where I drew the line in the sand and chose to become old rather than keep up with the kids. I tried it. I hated it. What scares me about the platform is the total severance of friendships and a shared reality.

The algorithm figures out what you like and keeps feeding you short, addictive videos about those things. It’s a constant discover feed with very little input from our friends in reality. Misinformation can go viral very quickly.

And so it loops. Instagram Reels are recycled TikToks and there’s an endless feed of cheap dopamine on our little screens now, with advertisements and sponsored posts at the statistically perfect interval. It’s a race to the bottom. It’s mostly left me feeling icky. Today, my internet has diverged entirely from your internet.

In a few years, we went from “the internet is a place I connect with my friends” to a feed of strangers doing silly dances and shilling highlighter vape pens. Today, the internet has become a place of disconnection, untethered from a shared reality.

How can we go back?

What to do about it?

Perhaps it would be wise to embrace this downfall. Maybe we can all say “Enough!” and log off. What, then, would fill our days?

I think it’s time to at least flirt with being logged off. Delete those apps from your phone. Feel your fingers twitch as they hover on the spot of your home screen where Instagram used to be. Take a breath. Pick up a book. Take a walk.

Try it out for a week. You don’t have to rage quit and delete all your accounts. I’m not going to go posting a long virtue-signaling rant on those sites. Online “activism” is a trap; It’s still feeding the beast.

I’ll just be quietly logging off, checking things less. Writing my thoughts in my journal and, when I really feel like I have something to say, sharing it here.

The most powerful thing we all can do is stop needing these apps. I am making space for that to happen. I’m making space for real connections to flourish.

Perhaps we’ll find a balance. I think 15 minutes of Instagram a week is the ideal point where I feel connected to friends and my local community. I respond to DMs of memes from friends, see if a local group posted a concert, like my friend’s post about their latest backcountry skiing adventure.

I do all this on the website, instagram dot com. And then I close the website. I actually log off, like I’m in sixth grade again. Let’s bring back “brb”, shall we?

So far, I’m enjoying the free time. I’m playing more music, writing more. I’m sleeping better without the screen time at night. We’re doing home projects and spending time with family, friends and neighbors. It’s self-care.

Of course I’ve simplified things in this rant. There are creators online who I really do enjoy. I still make time to watch their videos and subscribe to their email lists. I like to engage in niche communities on Reddit too. I’m no luddite. Heck, I’m a software engineer. I build things on the internet.

As far as digital things go, I’m glad to have you reading this. It feels real. It is important. I hope it resonates with you and pushes you towards some small action.

I intend to continue to do more things that increase my connection to those around me, in real life. With the times ahead, I know we’ll need a real network of real humans to get through it.

Monadnock

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